I'm feeling scattered. I put that comment up on my facebook page and put out the offer that anyone could come over and help me find my bits. I got a funny array of responses.
And I still feel scattered. I dislike it when I have a feeling and I can't trace it's roots. Why am I feeling this way? It beats the bananas out of me!!!! And what I dislike most is that when I get to feeling this particular way I don't seem to get much accomplished. I can't even figure out where to start.
It's like standing in some sort of void that is filled with fog and I just walk around and around with my arms outstretched trying to find something. Anything! I find nothing. Nothing to touch, grasp, anchor my direction too. Nothing.
Jane be proud....I then make lists. Lists help. They really do. Yesterday I made a list and spent most of the day sorting our mail (man, a couple weeks of non-attention really makes a pile), bringing all our show files up to date (some of them I just want to ignore because 1 show wants you to bring proof that your tent is fire retardant, another says you can't use an E-Z-UP tent which we have, another one we have to check in at 10:45 at night and unload our booth in the dark) and figuring out the logistics for the next three shows coming up. This took me most of the day. I know, I know you are all thinking that I know how to have fun, fun, fun.
I even washed the 'new to us' 3 welled sink in the early evening. Xan and I were out there scrubbing off grease with a vengeance.
I emailed our friend Will and gave him all the different scenarios that could be applied to his daughter (Xan's best friend) coming to visit us in a few weeks. YAY!
And with each task I got to make a deliberate scratch on my list.
And I still feel scattered.
Maybe it's the boxes that are being left unopened. Or the make-shift shower still being make-shift. Or the table loom that I bought on ebay that is still sitting nicely packed in the box that it arrived in.
Or maybe it's Mars. Yeah let's blame it on some planetary alignment.
The planets are out of whack and therefore I can't get seem to grasp the feeling that I've got my shit together.
It's my lame excuse and I'm sticking to it!